I hate waiting for answers

Thanks for all your well wishes. I have received emails and I am indeed touched and feeling blessed by encouraging messages.

I do not have an answer now, more tests and scans must be done and we will only know 2 weeks later once the results are out. Its a long wait if you are on government medical subsidy rate. If you have your own health insurance, you can go on a private rate and have yourself diagnosed within the same day. Too bad, my mum realized the importance of insurance too late. After her 1st cancer diagnosis, she was uninsurable.

The feeling sucks for sure, not knowing, guessing, fearing for the worst. The next 2 weeks is going to be tough. I'm pretty sure I need not go on a diet, I'd slim down naturally. I can't even eat a decent meal now. If its this hard for me, I can't imagine how hard it is for my mum.

I try to stay positive, but...

These few days...

I thought I was just busy with work and can free up my time over the weekends。
Maybe not

Something unexpected came up. My mum might have a cancer relapse. We do not know yet for sure. I was only told today...she sensed something was wrong last week, but she kept it to herself. She told me today while I was playing golf....my score was like....101 and I haven had any apetite since. I was just a little girl when she was first diagnosed. She fought hard, she said she fought for me. She wanted to see me grow up, get married, have kids. As a little girl back then I was scared. The word CANCER was big and scary. Now, it still is scary but I guess I am at a better place now mentally to care for her, compared to when I was smaller.
Ironically, I have always prepared myself for this day...but now, seems like my worst fear might be coming through and I don't want it to be.

I will be accompanying her to the doctor's tomorrow. I am prepared for the worst...although I hope it is nothing serious. She's 63 now. I don't think she's prepared to give it up just yet.

So, if you email me and I reply slower than usual, please try to understand. However, rest assured I will still check my emails.

God Bless us all!